I’ve read this article about some crazy investor ask Nintendo to make some mobile game that player have to pay to increase Mario’s jumping skill.
Welcome to Super Mario Bros. Mobile Edition, free to play! Tap your screen to start the game.
Mamamia there’s a Goomba! To defeat the enemy, you have to buy “Jump” ability now!
The gameplay is very simple, Mario will run himself, all you have to do is tap the screen and help Mario jump!
Oh no, time’s up! Buy “B Dash” ability to help Mario run faster!
Wow, you found the warp zone! Pay $1.00 to skip a level. The more you pay, the more levels you can skip!
Thank you Mario!
But you have to pay more to rescue the princess!
And I forgot to say… If you want to play as Luigi, you also have to pay! There is no such thing as a free lunch. It’s fair, right?
Dear Nintendo please don’t let it happen, don’t break our heart. He is Mario, the “Jumpman”, the “Mr. Video Game”. He should jump proud and free. He should jump higher with player’s skill increased, not player’s payment increased.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs.
So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.
So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!
The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!